All the Smushes!!

  

After we lost Magic, there was a hole the size of a 95-pound labrador in our home and hearts. We spent months visiting shelters, stopping by adoption events, looking into breeder recommendations, and contemplating whether we were ready for a puppy.

As fate would have it, a friend of mine recommended we try fostering. We went through the training at the Irvine Animal Care Center (highly recommended) and decided to try our hand with kittens first, for ease and containment concerns. 

I'm happy to say that we've now had the pleasure of fostering three times! All experiences were different, but let me tell you...it's been SOOOO rewarding!

First, we had a singleton named Chloe. She just needed a little more time to make weight. (Did you know that kittens are typically ready for adoption when they're eight weeks and at least two pounds? Tiny babies!) 

Second, we had a trio of brothers named Rae, Robin and Rosin (who we renamed Rowan based on his little personality). They were only 4-ish weeks old when we got them, just beginning to eat on their own. 

And most recently, we had a quartet of siblings who were all named after chips (Frito, Cheeto, etc.) but we couldn't remember which was which so while in our care, we called them Misty, Stormy, Marilyn and Monroe. (Can you guess who's who in the picture above?)

Yes, there were some things that we didn't expect: a few days of tummy/potty issues, an injury that wasn't really an injury but a birth defect that led to a longer-term medical foster and ultimately an amputation (UGH! But he did great and was still adopted!!), and sassy kittens who had to learn that humans were not so scary. And of course there were tears with every return, but still, we're back in the system and waiting for the next call.

Somehow, these little purring+cuddling+playing machines, have the power to wipe away stress, sadness, worry, and boredom within minutes! And our time with them has had a healing effect that we couldn't have imagined. 

Plus, we get to see these sweet little smushes launch into life. We pray that each one finds their very best forever home and that they'll always remember the brief bit of time that we got to love them.

So my PSA: if you have a spare bedroom and some extra love to share, please consider fostering. It's so so good for the soul. 

{J}

Bucket List Anyone?

 

Friends, do you have a bucket list? Perhaps there's BIG adventures on it, or even little, more attainable excursions? Maybe you have some ideas just floating around in your head, the place where dreams live? Well, put 'em on paper and see what happens.

Now that we're 50+, and we seem to have a little more free time to start putting us first, it's been fun to formalize the fantasies, and even make plans to bring them to light. On our wish list:

1. Move to another country for a summer.
2. Take the kids on an international trip for the boys' college graduations, (both in Spring, 2025).
3. Go to (at least) one concert a year.
4. Try a new restaurant in a city 30+ minutes away every month.
5. Go to a museum, art gallery, or unique theatrical performance each season.
6. Listen to live music, just more.
7. Say yes to trying new things.

Lists can obviously change, grow and adjust, based on life circumstances, but it's exciting to be in this stage where we can intentionally think about our own wishes and wants. A silver lining of the empty-ish nest.

Also, my parents have started this new tradition of taking their children and their partners (me+Michael, and/or brothers+partners, etc.) on one of THEIR bucket list trips. Isn't that GENIUS!?! My parents generously make the plans and arrangements, and then we support with things like driving, locating restaurants and some sights-to-see, and the things that might be a little more challenging for young 80-somethings. 

So far, we've been on to Canada twice: Niagara Falls, Toronto, and Banff and Jasper National Parks with them. And the memories are PRICELESS! 

So, if you don't have a bucket list yet, whatcha waiting for? Being mid-life may be wrought with the challenges of aging, but maybe it's also a perfect time to make the most of this one, wild and precious life, to whatever extent you can. Perhaps there's a tradition waiting to blossom in your cherished family...

Happy planning, friends.  

{J}

Good Boy, Magic

Losing a pet is hard. Very hard. Just after Christmas, we said good-bye to our loyal Labrador Magic. He was almost 14. He was the very first family pet that we got with the kids. I remember the car-ride like it was yesterday. We hadn't told them where we were going...it was one of our family's BEST surprises!

In my opinion, chocolate lab puppies are just the cutest! And he was such a good boy. Mellow, obedient, full of joy. And he really loved being with his humans. He went on countless camping trips, beach swims, walks, and even hikes through the snow. He wanted to be wherever we were. And there was always a family member who felt the same about him.

For nearly 14 years.

As fate would have it, the boys were home from college when we made the call to the vet. We knew the quality-of-life appointment could result in the hardest decision, but it felt serendipitous that we could be there for Magic's last car ride, like we were together for his first. And Dr. French, the most empathetic vet we'd ever met, was gentle with her assessment, with her recommendation. She made it okay for us to let him go. In her words, "Labs will never tell you when they're ready. They just want to make their people happy."

But Magic was ready. 

So we fed him spoonfuls of peanut butter and pressed our faces to his floppy ears and soft cheeks. We cried as we rubbed his belly and hugged him tightly around the neck. We took comfort in knowing that he wouldn't be in pain anymore. That we'd been blessed to love him for his long and happy life. That it was time. 

The first few weeks are the hardest. The empty dog dish, the lonely leash, the nose smudges on the french doors, the dog toys. We waded through the early days of missing him, because that was the cost of loving him. 

And slowly, very slowly, our sadness was replaced with memories. Memories of socks eaten and holes dug and ocean swims and long walks and his happy, wagging tale, and his soft snore, and his soul-searching eye contact, and his wild zoomies. As we let those joyful moments come to mind, as we started to text pics of him in the family group chat, we started to let the healing begin. 

Thank you for being ours, Magic. We will always love you. Give Milo and Dakota big hugs from us. We will see you again. Until then, enjoy the endless dog treats. Good boy.

An excerpt from one of our favorites books, Dog Heaven, by Cynthia Rylant:

"Dogs in Dog Heaven have almost always belonged to somebody on Earth and, of course, the dogs remember this. Heaven is full of memories. So sometimes, an angel will walk a dog back to Earth for a little visit and quietly, invisibly, the dog will sniff about his old backyard, will investigate the cat next door, will follow the child to school, will sit on the front porch and wait for the mail. When he is satisfied that all is well, the dog will return to Heaven with the angel. It is where dogs belong, near God who made them...

"Dogs in Dog Heaven may stay as long as they like and this can mean forever. They will be there when old friends show up. They will be there at the door. Angel dogs."

{J}

Cheers to Making It!

 

When you're a child, Valentine's Day means decorating a shoebox to collect fun notes and cards and sweet treats from your classmates. There may even be a lunch exchange or a party. And whether you like all of your classmates, you'll bring enough Valentines to share with everyone. It's an "equal opportunity" holiday.

When you're a teenager, Valentine's Day has a little more at stake. The girls hope they get some sort of acknowledgement from the boy they like and the boys just hope that the girl likes them back. The communication about "the liking" is typically carried out by the friends of the supposed "likees." It's a "socially conscious" holiday.

When you're a young adult, Valentine's Day is about over-analyzing the level of investment of your first serious partner. Your expectations are high and the pressure's on. Your gift needs to represent exactly how you feel for him/her/them without overshooting or underestimating, either of which could be deadly. It's a "make it or break it" holiday.

When you're a newlywed, Valentine's Day is about indulgence. Fancy dinners, elaborate gifts, extensive foreplay and lingering passion. You and your partner are completely into each other therefore, demonstrating your undying love is paramount. If it's social-media worthy, even better... It's a "more is better" holiday.

When you're a parent to babies or youngens, Valentine's Day is about falling deeper in love. You never imagined your partner could become more attractive but seeing them love your little ones--changing a diaper, singing a lullaby, kissing a boo-boo, telling a bedtime story--fertilizes that deep-rooted emotion you have for the person you've chosen as your partner-in-all-things. It's a "count-your-blessings" holiday.

When you're a parent to tweens and teens, Valentine's Day is about remembering the reason you fell in love in the first place. Life is less about your marriage and more about the all-consuming, completely exhausting, totally thankless job of parenthood. Even though you're tired and the newlywed luster has faded while the business of life has settled in, it's more important than ever to sincerely demonstrate what a loving relationship looks like. Your children are watching and they need to see that the terms "unconditional" and "everlasting" are attainable and worthy of the work. It's a "put-your-money-where-your-mouth-is" holiday.

When you're an empty-nester, Valentine's Day is about a more refined level of indulgence than during your newlywed bliss. You enjoy life at a slower pace and have discovered a true understanding of what your lover wants and needs. On a daily basis, you act out your vows with more intention and promise than ever before. You are also so so thankful that the work got you to here. Not every partnership survives. It's a "gratefulness" holiday.

So on this Valentine's Day, please take the opportunity to surround yourself with the people you care about, sharing your love and fostering relationships that will last throughout all the seasons of your life. In fact, the same goes for the other 364 days of the year. After all, there is no limit to love. Valentine's Day really should be a year-round endeavor.

Cheers. xoxox 

Jenn

New Year + New Word!!

 

Happy New Year!! How did we get to 2024?!? 

Today, as I reflect back on 2023 and all of the ways I stretched and stabilized, along with a milestone birthday, I feel nothing but gratitude, and frankly amazement, that I got here. So much of it seems a blur. 

So...looking into this next year, I plan to be better at recording allthethings. Here are the priorities on my mind and in my heart: 

• Fostering relationships
• Prioritizing health
• Planning adventures
• Recording the moments
• Learning new things
• Writing more blog posts
• Finishing my work in progress

Which brings me to this year's word. It's simple, straightforward, and packs a punch. 

ONWARD!

Feel free to play along.

Happy New Year!! What’s your one word?

Love, 

Jenn

#oneword2024 #keepingitmessy #itwasthebestoftimes