So, COVID has made podcasting a bit difficult. We miss getting together and we really miss sharing our shenanigans with you. But, in an effort to do our part and limit the spread of this virulent and elusive virus, we are taking a hiatus from our podcast.
Writer friends, please do enjoy one of our favorites though: Writing Excuses!
Happy holidays, friends. Stay well, and keep it messy until we meet again.
{J&H}
Hidden in the Vale for 16 years, Emily has no idea who she really is. Loving John seems like her only purpose. When forced to take the throne of Avarica-her home, she needs to make a choice: her kingdom or her John, heir to her enemy realm. In the end, our princess and prince will learn you don’t always get a happy ending.
Emily and John have been hidden in another realm all their lives. So they have no idea that they’re really heirs to opposing thrones. That might mess up their relationship.
Emily thinks her life is boring. Then the Shade happens. And John happens. And things aren’t boring anymore. But how did she not have a clue that she was different? Heiress to the throne of a foreign realm? Couldn’t things just go back to being boring again? #PitMad #YAFantasy
John has met the girl of his dreams just as the world is falling apart. He has lost too much and when faced with losing her forever, nothing will stop him from rescuing her. Not even who she has become: his greatest foe - the Dark Queen. #PitMad #YAFantasy
What if happily ever after looked more like the end of the world? When Emily and John meet during an eclipse the earth moves, literally. In the midst of their whirlwind romance, Emily is kidnapped to the Dark Realm. John sets out to rescue her only to find he’s heir to the Throne of Light and Emily is his mortal enemy. #PitMad #YAFantasy
Emily thinks her life is boring. Until the Shade happens. And John happens. But she can’t believe what she finds out about herself: Heiress to the throne of a foreign realm? Will John join her or will the Realm Wars prove that happy endings are a big, fat lie? #PitMad #YAFantasy
The Realm Wars have raged for eons but only now are they messing with John’s world. When the girl he’s falling for is kidnapped to Avarica, he’ll fight whoever he must to find her. Even when she becomes his greatest enemy: the Dark Queen. #PitMad #YA #F CITY OF BONES+THRONE OF GLASS
We are a complicated people. Sometimes, in order to feel in control when things are out of control, when we long to feel belonging, to feel safe, we seek out those we can relate to. Those we agree with.
And sometimes, when we encounter the ones with whom we don't agree, we instinctively view them as a threat. If we can place those “others” into a category of "different", we might feel safe again. Supported. Understood. That is a natural desire.
But maybe there's a way to remain open to the nuances of human beings, to the complexity of these unprecedented and extremely challenging times. Maybe there's a better way to bridge the seemingly growing divide and converse with people all over the opinion-experience-spectrum.
First, I think we can all agree that this pandemic is awful. In different ways for different reasons, it is just awful. Globally, we are in this rocky, nausea-inducing, leaking, awful boat. Together. Even though we're experiencing different swells and storms, we are still stuck in the damn boat. (Did I say how awful it is? IT IS!)
Second, the political atmosphere in the US is stressful. Whether you align right or left or a blend of the two (transparency here - this is where I find myself most of the time), if you check Facebook or Twitter or the awful news, it feels like there's no tolerating the other side. The name-calling and bullying is so so mean and so so common. I think the more we ingest this kind of media, we fall victim to believing this is the way we're supposed to act. I want to challenge that.
Third, I find that many people perpetuate division of thought, of culture, of conviction because (back to the beginning) we want to feel like we belong to something. But do you ever feel like the thing (party, policy, cause) you're aligning yourself to doesn't fully represent all of your experiences and beliefs? If no, you don't need to read on. You might just get annoyed.
But if you find yourself in the middle on some things, maybe you have opinions that cross the aisle, things can get complicated. Where can we have those conversations? Or should I say, is there a place for our voices to be heard and not dismissed because we're not fully supportive of one side?
I think there is. And I think it's our job to bravely and kindly protect it. But first, we must acknowledge that life and issues and people are complex. And then we need to be prepared to have some hard conversations, because what we're attempting keeps us from the shelter and consensus of an absolute view.
Here are some things I've learned talking to friends and family who lately find themselves in the middle on all sorts of issues. They are meant to spark reflection and challenge our personal biases. We all have 'em, and they can make us nasty. But we're going to stay nice and open, right? Here goes.
We can willingly wear a mask and desperately want things to go back to normal. We can follow the science and acknowledge that we're living in a science experiment, each of us witnessing the scientific method in real-time. (If you don't remember that from middle and high school, Google it. Or ask a teenager.) We can be frustrated with politicians and medical experts whose opinions differ and change, and we can also follow health orders, which might also differ and change. We can be hopeful about treatments that have shown success and are being researched, and also be skeptical of agenda-driven messages on YouTube.
We can want our kids to go back to school and also stay positive about distance learning. We can assert that better learning and overall well-being happens on campus, and also fiercely desire for teachers and school personnel and kids to be safe. We can admit the data is still being gathered and get excited about studies that show promise. We can adapt our opinions when new data is presented. (This is not easy...try it. Ouch. But it gets easier with practice. Trust me.) We can affirm Black Lives Matter and also support the commitment of police to protect and serve. We can believe that not all BLM advocates are violent looters and not all cops are racist killers. We can see the immediate need for police reform and also the great need for law and order. We can cheer and mourn the toppling of a statue.
We can love our country and disapprove of some of the people running it. We can be patriots even if we don't agree with the President. We can value personal freedoms and care for our world during a pandemic. We can seek out ways to correct inequities within our systems and also preserve the foundational values of equality, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
We can call for an end to human trafficking and pedophilia, and question the legitimacy of pizzagate and Hollywood pedo-rings. We can be interested in and weary of conspiracy theories. We can (and should) seek out information and be aware that lies can be very convincing. We can support legitimate causes with goals to end human trafficking and pedophile rings, and still be a fan of Forrest Gump.
We can responsibly and respectfully engage in social media with regard to current events. (Do they still debate current events in school? That was my favorite part of social studies. People need to learn or re-learn those skills, I think.)
We can read articles before sharing, check source bias and our personal biases. We can avoid bullying in the comments section and stand up against it. We can present ourselves as decent and compassionate humans instead of always being right.
You guys, cancel culture is all over the internet. It's all over the news, doesn't matter what side you align with. And the current tone might make you think that the people who don't agree with you, especially when we think they behave badly, aren't even worthy of simple decency. (Be honest. Have you ever felt that way? Did social media have any influence?) But cancelling out the WHOLE PERSON because there's something you don't like - an opinion, a mistake, a flaw - is very, very dangerous. It might make you feel vindicated for the cruel post you liked/shared. It might make you feel safe, even superior, or right.
But it ignores one very important fact from the equation: we are each human beings, created by a loving God, blessed with this one life to impact the world and people around us. Positively. (And if you don't believe in a God, the sentence still works.)
So, what kind of world do you want to be a part of creating? What can we do about the divide? Here are some things I've learned lately that help me navigate these trying issues:
REFLECT. What behaviors and attitudes are you sharing with those around you? Are you proud? Are you harsh? Are you having challenging conversations? Are you willing to make a phone call and explain why something bothered you before losing a friend? Are you choosing kindness? Showing grace? Are you cancelling people that you've known and loved? (This is hard work. If you try this exercise and immediately hear your inner self say "Well, she started it..." there's more work to do. Call me. We can do the hard work together.)
What are your family, community, social circle talking about these days? More importantly, how are they talking? Nasty memes? Name-calling? Us vs. them-ing? It feels good to find common disgust for the "others" doesn't it? To be attracted to those who confirm your own viewpoint. But do you want to pay the price for that? Are you willing to drive people away with righteousness? Because they hold an opinion that differs from yours? Do you know who you might lose? (And honestly, sometimes it's healthy to let people go. But maybe the relationship is worth a call. Can you give them a chance to learn and understand your point of view? UGH...More hard conversations!)
THINK CRITICALLY. There's a lot going on friends. And social media and mainstream media are following the algorithms. Because when you click, when you share, when you watch, THEY MAKE MONEY. The madder the headlines make you, the more money they make. The more you share, especially misinformation, they make money. (Did you know that if a news outlet lies but you clicked on the article, they don't lose the revenue even when they recant a few days later? Read that again.) So, if you don't want to be used in this way, there are plenty of places to find facts and not opinion. And I promise you, CNN and FOX news are not it.
Reuters, Associated Press, BBC and NPR News (not opinion), are the least politically biased and most reliably sourced news outlets. If you try them out, you will immediately realize how different real news is. You might also be annoyed at the extent to which you've been manipulated by those you previously trusted.
I will warn you though, you won't find people slinging insults if you're looking for that. In fact, you will probably find out that things that had you incensed, things that had you polishing your pitchforks, were not entirely true.
The exaggeration and misinformation, even straight-out lies, happen in all the biased news outlets, on both sides. RIGHT and LEFT, friends. But not as much in the middle. You won't find as many flashy and controversial headlines in non-biased news. Soooo...what you end up sharing on your feed will actually turn out to be more responsible and respectful. You will be perpetuating real news. (There is still such a thing as that. It's just not as popular.)
Back to my point...almost done. Thanks for sticking with me.
BE KIND. The election will be over in November. Covid-19 will continue to evolve. The call for social justice and police reform will be negotiated between lawmakers and communities. And we will remain, sharing the space of this great country with people and ideas that are diverse and nonetheless worthy.
If we do these things: reflect, think critically, and be kind, we can care for each other and respect each other, even when we see things differently. Perhaps we can even seek out someone who has a different point of view with the aim to truly understand, not to persuade. When we do that, we cross the bridge from painful divisiveness to beautiful relationships.
And if you want to chat, I promise, I'm a safe space. You won’t find mud-slinging here. You won’t find condemnation here. You won’t find hatred here. What you will find is an openness to accept and appreciate our differences. What you will find is respect and humanity and love.
Because those are things worth sharing. Care to meet me on the bridge?
Peace and love to you.Jenn
Photo cred: Joel Vodell on Unsplash
That is all. #keepingitmessy #wewishwecouldpodcast #mobilerecordingstudioisntsocialdistancing #rulefollowers #onefifthofushassurvivedcodidalready #dontwannatemptfate #wehatecovid #quarantineisgoodforwriting #silverlining #butstillfcovid19
Back in 2014, there was a measles outbreak in Orange County. The Covic-19 pandemic in 2020 takes me back. Back then, the sentiment was...Break out the masks, lock away your children and batten down the hatches! In other words...PANIC! Does that sound familiar?
As a self-professed, well-intentioned mama bear, I understand the urge to seek out and share information. We would be negligent to keep the facts to ourselves, right? But sometimes, along with the information exchange came some pretty harsh finger-pointing and shaming, particularly at those who see things differently than us. I completely understand the urge to find the truest version of the truth, the belief that more information will protect us, but condemnation isn't productive people. It separates us from that which connects us in the first place: our common parental motivation to do what's best.
Part of living in a close-knit community and espousing the "it-takes-a-village" approach to raising children, brings with it a deep and unavoidable caring about others: other parents burdened by the weight of the world, children who seek and need some normalcy, and community members who are suffering. But the worry is no excuse for being unkind.
As the months of the current pandemic ensued, we have witnessed some beautiful examples of loving each other, but we have also seen the nastiest of humanity emerge. And, just like in 2014, I think this is why:
Parents have strong emotions about things like contagious inflictions like measles, Covid-19, even lice and the stomach flu, because we're hard-wired to protect. For some, that extends to guarding against the terribly tragic effects of shut-downs too. The fear and concern come from the heart...the caring, feeling heart.
But what I've learned over twenty years of parenting is this: throughout life, parents need other parents. When we're vulnerable and scared, we need each other for strength and perspective. When we're hurting and divided, we need each other's grace and humanity. And as we navigate all the different, "do-what's-best" waters, let's remember one thing: we are in the same, floating-on-choppy-seas boat, and often the best option is to grab an oar and paddle. Together, let's keep us all afloat.
With love and grace.
Jenn
#keepingitmessy #covidedition
Photo by Roberto Nickson on Unsplash
