The Spirit of Giving

The spirit of giving can be very powerful, especially when we include our children. Last weekend, our family delivered gifts to some families in need. Soccer balls and legos, blankets and shoes, gift cards for grocery stores and other essentials.

As we walked up to each house, our kids commented on how, on the outside, these families looked like they were well taken care of. The homes were adorned with lights and decorations, a car was parked in each driveway and it was easy to fall into a false sense of comfort that maybe things weren’t so bad for these families after all.

But everything changed the minute we were greeted by our first mama-in-need. We didn’t know her story - we didn’t need to - but we physically felt her relief as she squeezed her sweet baby girl and thanked us through tears. At the second home, it was a proud papa who hugged us and introduced us to all of his adorable sons, each wearing the brightest smiles I’ve ever seen. And as we walked back to our car, hands linked and feeling a mixture of happy and sad, each one of our kids put words to their realization that things can look okay and be far from it.

“Maybe someone’s sick and can’t work right now so they don’t have enough money.”

“Maybe they only have enough money to pay for the house and electricity and gas for the car but nothing else.”

“Maybe someone has a mental illness. Sometimes people can’t work when they’re sick like that even though they look okay on the outside.”

“Maybe they’re taking care of other family members and don’t have enough to go around.”

“Maybe they lost their jobs.”

Michael and I agreed that all of those were real possibilities and pointed out that sometimes things aren’t what they seem, that these kind strangers were truly missing something substantial, that we should never judge because, in life, we will have our own crosses to bear. After our good deed and some deep conversation, we had brunch and went to the beach, keeping close the awareness of all of our blessings.

And then, this happened…

Noah decided he wanted to donate all his legos to charity, not pass them down to family friends like we usually do because (his words) “our friends can all afford to buy their own legos and they’re probably getting lots for Christmas.”

Evidence of an impact. It doesn't get much better than that.

So as you enjoy your Christmas (or another) holiday, I hope you have a chance to be something for someone in need. Whether it's through charity, an intentional connection with a loved one, or just a hug, remember that each is an opportunity with the power to shape us. And if the kids can be involved, even better.

Merry Christmas and happy holidays!

{J}

Spinning on Repeat

The world is spinning. Things are floating and moving at unusual speeds. It feels as though a tsunami has hit the coast of California and our house is toppling over and at any moment, I will land on the floor. No, it's not vodka. It's vertigo. And it's BACK!

I Have. Vertigo. For the fourth time in ten years. The first time I had vertigo was one year after I was in a car accident. My daughter was five and we were turning cartwheels and summersaulting all over town. The spinning happened the next morning as I rolled out of bed. The room shifted and the next thing I knew, I was on the floor. Initially diagnosed with an ear infection, I was given antibiotics. When the meds didn't make the spinning stop, I was sent to Dr. Jacobsen of the Head and Neck Associates of Orange County, a gifted Ear, Nose, Throat doctor. He knew what was wrong and promised to fix me.

The next episode was in 2014. Then again in summer of 2015. And now, for my birthday. Happy birthday (you're getting OLD) to me!!

There are many types and causes of vertigo. A migraine headache or a virus in the inner ear can cause symptoms of vertigo. Luckily, they can be remedied with medication and rest and time. The most common type of vertigo, one that typically afflicts people over 60 or with those who've had head injuries, is called BPPV: Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo in which dislodged crystals travel though the labyrinth of the inner ear and send mixed messages from the vestibular system to the brain. It's what I had ten years ago and what I have had each time since.

The key word is "benign" so we know it's harmless, except for the falling and nausea and inability to function normally. This type of vertigo that is inextricably tied to movement. If I move too fast, I spin. If I flip my hair, things get shaky. If I look up, left or right too quickly, I feel disoriented and faint. Oh, and I kinda feel drunk. That's because my blood pressure is rising and falling, rapidly, sometimes 30 points in a matter of minutes.

The treatment for BPPV - the Epley Maneuver - is like magic. With a vibrating disc pressed behind my ear, Dr. J shifts my head until the misplaced crystals travel back through the inner ear to where they belong. The treatment induces extensive spinning during which I try not to throw up on Dr. J's shoes. For at least a week, I am required to limit my movement and sleep in a recliner so the crystals stay put. Doctor's specific orders: "Don't move much, and if you do, move like a zombie." But it has to be done. Once my brain trusts the messages from my vestibular system, the world, my-spinning-twirling-falling-over-world, is set right.

If you ever experience symptoms of vertigo, avoid driving, take things slow and see your doctor right away. For best results, find yourself a Dr. J.

{J}

NANOWRIMO16

National Novel Writing Month is here!! And we are taking advantage of the NaNoWriMo campaign to make our final edits to FORGED and prepare for pitching it at the SDSU Writers' Conference in January.

If you've ever considered writing anything, visit www.nanowrimo.org to get inspired. It's and AMAZING conglomeration of talent and motivation.

Our NaNoWriMo novel page begins with our short synopsis but below, we have included a more in depth teaser:

When a boy lands in a bloody heap at Emily’s feet, her first thought is to run. Instead, instinct compels her to touch him and a surge of energy pulses from her hands in a radiant stream of colors and warmth. She is shocked when his broken bones snap back into place, revealing her power to heal, and she’s pretty sure senior year isn’t going to be the fresh start her parents said she needed.

When the ghost of his father urges him to the library, John finds a beautiful girl, shaking, covered in blood, and in the evil grip of a student possessed by a demon. He rescues her and is unable to deny the powerful connection between them. For the first time since his father’s death, John has hope in embracing who he is.

That’s when their worlds collide.

The Healer and the Listener quickly learn that they are not the only students with extraordinary gifts at their east coast boarding school. In fact, there are seven Innates who, according to Native American legends, must band together to prevent Armageddon and the demon occupation of the human race. But how can a group of unlikely prep school students whose eyes were just opened to this secret world, be expected to restore the balance of good and evil?

FORGED, a young adult, paranormal adventure can be described as Breakfast Club misfits on a Lord of the Rings journey. It will appeal to readers who yearn for fantastical elements grounded in American history. Told from the points of view of Emily and John, we follow the Innates as they battle malevolent spirits in search of the source of their powers and the only thing that can save them. The expedition will challenge the group to acknowledge their diversity—of origins, of powers, of desires—and do what they have to do even when it goes against every self-centered, self-conscious, bone in their bodies.

We can't wait to share the magic of FORGED with you!!

Is this something you think you would read? We'll share more throughout the month and are happily accepting feedback.

Happy NaNoWriMo2016!

{H&J}

Our First Critique: FORGED

Yes, we are still writing our book. In fact, our precious baby is currently in the hands of a very talented and very generous editor, Alyssa Archer. We found her through the podcast, Writership, where she and Leslie Watts critique, advise and cheer on emerging authors like us.

Last year, after some feedback from writerly folks, we decided to re-write the book as Young Adult rather than adult/new adult fiction. Then, as many of you know, Holly had a medical set back that took her off the project for close to eight months. But the rewriting commenced this spring and we are in the process of developing book two and preparing to pitch the series once we get it back from Alyssa. Quite a process, yes, but we are determined.

If you're at all interested in hearing how things are going, please enjoy this 30-minute podcast where OUR WORDS actually come to life and our first chapter is read/critiqued. Friends, you have been so encouraging and we appreciate all of the good thoughts directed our way. Never give up your dreams...we believe in YOU too!

Happy listening! WRITERSHIP, Episode 62: FORGED {J}

Fall Reading (Or Should I Say, Re-Reading?

The best way to fill up my soul and tap into my creative bank is to READ. Getting lost in the pages of a story and the lives of the characters is purely, magically restorative. My current to-read list is extensive but something about the season of Autumn, makes me long to RE-READ. (My book club friends can attest to my serial re-reading habit...I know it's a little nutty.)

So if you are in need of a good place to get lost, look no further. The list below is tried and true, I promise.

1. Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell

"No, I don’t think I will kiss you, although you need kissing, badly. That’s what’s wrong with you. You should be kissed and often, by someone who knows what he’s doing."

2. Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers

“...my love isn't a weapon, it's a lifeline, reach out and take hold, and don't let go!"

3. Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See

“Read a thousand books, and your words will flow like a river.”

4. Harry Potter - the whole AMAZING series by J.K. Rowling

“There are all kinds of courage,” said Dumbledore, smiling. “It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.” –The Sorcerer’s Stone

5. The Shack by William P. Young

“Don't ever discount the wonder of your tears. They can be healing waters and a stream of joy. Sometimes they are the best words the heart can speak.”

6. Beloved by Toni Morrison

“Sweet, crazy conversations full of half sentences, daydreams and misunderstandings more thrilling than understanding could ever be.

7. Outlander by Diana Gabaldon - I recommend the book series and the Starz miniseries

“Oh, aye, Sassenach. I am your master . . . and you're mine. Seems I canna possess your soul without losing my own.”

8. The Chronicles of Narnia box set by C.S. Lewis

“Once a king or queen of Narnia, always a king or queen of Narnia.”

9. The Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer (Don't judge...they're a GREAT escape!

"No measure of time with you will be long enough. But we'll start with forever."

10. Pillars of the Earth and sequel World Without End by Ken Follett

“Nevertheless, the book gave Jack a feeling he had never had before, that the past was like a story, in which one thing led to another, and the world was not a boundless mystery, but a finite thing that could be comprehended.”

Okay, so these are not in any particular order and I have several others that I've read more than once, some classics, some not-so-classic, but all of them have inspired me on my own writing journey.

I hope there's something here that you can enjoy. Have you ever read a book more than once? Do share...

Happy reading!

{J}

'Twas the Night Before School (re-posted from 2013)

(Reminds me of the good ole' days when we started school after Labor Day. Good luck friends.)

'Twas the night before school started and all through the house, 

Not a single child stirred, it was just me and my spouse. 

Our three kids were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of summertime still danced in their heads.

My husband and I, exhausted beyond a doubt,

Had just pulled the wide range of lunch fixings out.

We packed plastic baggies with fresh fruit and snacks,

Filled water bottles and searched for ice packs.

For the next day a new school year would begin,

The thought of the kids back in school made us grin.

We love our children, now don't get me wrong,

But this year our summer was unusually long.

Beach days, star-gazing, camping, and more,

Kayaking, barbecues and friends galore.

'Twas a memorable summer, chalked full of fun,

But after twelve weeks, like most, we were done.

The teachers were needed to make some new rules,

To reign in our wild ones, to retrain these fools!

For seven full hours, they'd teach them cool things,

And inspire them with knowledge that each new day brings.

Math facts, fluency and science were all in store,

Kindness, respect, "best effort" and more.

For seven full hours, they would use their brains,

While we hoped that last year's facts were retained.

The backpacks were ready, not one thing was missed,

Stuffed with the "suggested" supplies from the LIST.

Their outfits were hanging, so fresh and so clean,

Collared shirts for the boys, a new dress for our teen.

We hoped in the morning they'd be alert and lively,

But cute, well-dressed zombies was way more likely.

Our late summer evenings and sleeping past nine,

Made it impossible to get to sleep on time.

Their cranky demeanor surely couldn't last,

A week of early rising would fix them up fast.

The new year was exciting, grades four, five and eight,

And once we adjusted it was sure to be great.

The things of the summer that we'd surely miss:

Playing and late nights and sleeping in -- BLISS!

Things we were ready to put in the past:

Messes and fighting and being harassed.

"Mom, he touched me," and "She took my stuff,"

Or "I'm bored," "I don't want to," and "My life is so rough."

The constant demand for friends, cash and food,

"I swear kids, one more request and I'll come unglued!"

Yes, summer was over and it was a good thing,

We needed a break from all the bickering.

And the kids needed learning, no more TV or Wii,

Tomorrow would start school and a slew of activity.

Which meant for us parents a different type of work,

The lax days of summer replaced with homework.

We'd be needed for chauffeuring, reading logs and more,

Thursday folders, concerts and flash cards galore!

But as we look back on the first weeks of school,

Maybe missing the trips to the beach or the pool.

Or maybe we're dancing cuz they're out of our hair,

Either way, there's one thing that we certainly share.

Come May when we've gotten through standardized tests,

When we're all done with essays and science projects.

We'll longingly look at the year that has past,

And say to ourselves "Summertime...at last!"

{J}

Emancipation and Dishes and Pimps...Oh My!

One of today's challenges for parents is teaching our sweet emerging adults how to make good decisions. For most of their lives, we're charged with keeping them alive so we become really good at controlling things to limit the risks. Sound familiar?

In order to prepare them for flight from our orderly, safe nests, they need to know how to carefully evaluate options and use reasoning to solve problems and make decisions. If we tell them what to do and when to do and how to do, we rob them of the chance to hone these critical life skills. Let's not do that, m-kay?

I give you this prime example: a recent conversation with my 16 year old.

Me: Your job is loading the dishes tonight, okay dear daughter?

DD: Ugh...NOOOO!!!

Me: Your brothers unloaded and took out the trash. Just get it done before bedtime.

DD: Why do you hate me so?

Me: I don't. I do hate loading the dishes though.

DD: Mom. I want to be an emancipated minor.

Me: Oh...is this because of the dishes.

DD: Yes.

Me: You do realize that you'll then be responsible for both unloading and loading, right?

DD: No. I'll use paper.

Me: That's a lot of paper plates and plastic forks.

DD: Oh...I'll just hire someone. More environmental.

Me: Ok. That's probably a better idea. So where do you think you want to work so you can pay for the help?

DD: BLK Burgers. It looks fun there.

Me: You're right. And I love their garlic edamame!

DD: Me too!! And I'll probably get some free food. How much do you think they get paid there?

Me: Probably minimum wage plus tips. You might need a second job to make enough money to live on your own and pay for someone to do your chores.

DD: Then I'll be a madam like Greer in Reign. She makes tons of money. (If you haven't seen Reign, it's set in Elizabethan times in France and Greer is a lady-turned-madam. She's quite endearing.)

Me: Yes, I'm sure she does, but if you really want to go into that line of work, we better get you some target practice before you move out.

DD: Why?

Me: Well, because present-day madams are usually men and they're called pimps and they dabble in things like drug-dealing and weapons and human trafficking and I don't think they like competition.

DD: Mom, I have my black belt.

Me: Yes you do.

DD: I'll just kill all the pimps...

Me: That's one way to do it...

DD: And I'll steal their business and I'll be really nice to the courtesans.

Me: I'm sure they'd like that but do you really want to kill people?

DD: Not really. I don't like blood.

Me: Yeah, there's that.

DD: Hmmm...maybe I'll just work at BLK and live here for a while.

Me: At least stay until college. There's plenty of time to figure out what you want to do.

DD: Yep. I have options.

Me: Lucky girl. Oh, and thanks for doing the dishes while we had this very interesting chat.

DD: Sure! (With a smile.)

Decision-making process at its finest, people. True story.

{J}