Homecomings and Heartaches

It may look like just a La Croix can but it’s not. It’s Noah’s. And we just dropped him off at the airport at the end of his Spring break. I know this can is his because he always takes the tabs off his cans. He fiddles with them, he chews on them, he plays around them until it's time to drop them right into the cans from which they cometh.  It used to totally bug me because those tabs typically ended up in the sink or the garbage disposal! But not this one. I’ll drain the can carefully and toss it in the recycle bin, tab included. And when I do, it signifies the end. (I know!! I’m so dramatic!) But really, it's the end of our wonderful, spring break of freshman year, visit. The end of the nine days when my heart got back into its comfortable and familiar rhythm of Noah being home. The end of a glorious week witnessing his casual comings and goings, of feeling his presence. When your child moves away and comes back for a visit, with them returns a level of joy when walking through the house and stumbling upon little reminders of them…like socks, hats, wrappers, keys, sweatshirts, whatever. Well, that’s all done now. Sure, he’ll be home in less than three months, but my soul had just forgotten the ache it endured when he was several states away. And my soul doesn’t want to remember. It doesn’t get easier. My heart is heavy and also full, so I’ll hang onto that. Until the next homecoming. Thanks for listening. Jenn